LAMEST JOKE EVER!!!!!!

OKAY!!! this involves my chinese teacher so i bet everyones listening now.

today in class, she told us this "famous" chinese joke. it goes like this.

what happens when you drop a green bean (a chinese pea) from the second story?????

it becomes a red bean coz it dies and gets soaked in blood!!!!! (she starts laughing. our chinese class feels VEEEERY awkward at this point.)

she carries on...

What happens when you drop a green bean from the 11th story?????

you get green bean paste, when it hits the floor, you know the green bean paste that you eat??? hahahaha (she starts cracking up.)

(we are all laughing coz its so lame by now)

(she thinks were laughing coz its funny)

(then comes the epic finale...)

what happens when you drop the green bean from the 25th floor???

it goes BOOM!!! and you hear screaming sounds.

(the end)

we are all cracking up and falling off our chairs by now coz its so lame. she thinks we are laughing coz its funny. OMG.

and the whole joke was told unprofessionally with lots of stuttering and long pauses after the jokes and in the middle of sentences.

THAT WAS OFFICIALY THE LAMEST JOKE EVER!!! AND I LIVED TO HEAR IT!!!!!!

Windows movie Maker is painful

As you can see in my most Recent post, i made a music video to Relient k's devastation and reform to my brother scootering. i used Windows Movie Maker after a whole day of filming. i stayed up 4 hours past my bedtime that night editing, then i woke up and edited until 1 o'clock. Finally done!!!

Then i click the save as movie file so i can upload it to youtube. wahhhh it didnt work. i now realise that the source files are not on my hard disc, but still on the sd card i used for filming. ;(

so i go to all the trouble of copying the files to my harddrive and tirelessly editing the movie with the new files to the exact millisecond so the movie is exactly the same and in time with the music. i failed making each clip at least 3 milliseconds off but i did my best. i clicked save as movie file NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT FAILED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT TOOK A WHOLE NOTHER 3 days!!!!!!!

so i look around on the internet and try all the help on every blog post or forum i can find. there wasnt anything that worked except on little comment. "it has to be smaller than 64 mb. so i do it in halves at 42 mbs

then 27

but yay i put it in thirds at 25.4 mbs

6 days worth of editing but T.T

NOONE ELSE MAKE THIS MISTAKE!!!!(obviously movie maker has some glitches...

YAY it worked. finaally. i can upload

Latest Youtube Video!!!

WATCH IT!!! its a music video to my Brother Scootering. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UQwX7ZXfnU

WINDOWS FTW

Windows Owns MACS

MOVIES!

My favourite movies are- surfs up. the marchn of the penguins. happy feet. madagascar 1 and 2. farce of the penguins. batman...etc etc

i wonder why????

THEY WALL HAVE PENGUINS IN THEM DUMBASS!!!!

Relient k!!!!

OK EVERYONE watch /listen to relient k they are too pro. look ive even put in some videos to get you started. so you cant say i cbb ill do it later and forget. come on watch them. ITS ONLY 10 MINUTES OF UR LIFE PEEPS!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w8FVBr5M-s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3z1YE9aMmVk&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tfR5KvsFVU&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z50adJjl5wQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgwLOP8EDSU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXiJr2P2fp8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syGZu3peUZw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr_AyqHvEJM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Gxbw2eOdU

WATCH THEM!!! THEYRE AWESOME!!!!!

bibi

I havent blogged 4 ages :(

Hey Guyz,guess wat??? it was my bday 2 weeks ago and i had a great time.

my birthday party was the following saturday,and everyone came to my house and then i paid for them to all have a game of darkzone with me. it was awesome.

one time while we were at my house,john noticed i was drinking wierdly.(i was trying not to laugh) so then i sed,well 'this' is how 'i' drink. and slammed the coke down,holding it vertically above my mouth and skulled it.but oops, i forgot to swallow!!!! i tried to close my mouth to keep it in, but that just made it worse and my mouth exploded and coke went all over me and cheni.i have never seen cheni laugh so hard b4. the best i'd ever got from him was a haha lol.but now he was rolling on the floor!!!!!!

and it was soooo funny when we went to the park and got attacked by "zombie" flies(coz wen WOOOOOOO's around EVERYTHING is a zombie. oh and the countless softdrink fights.

it was pretty kool watching cheni own the piano as well.he's really pro.

Anyway,today its storming down with rain and thuder and im getting UNCOUNTABLE texts from my contacts and sending them to i might add about how their house and or respective road is flooded. parry avenue is so drenched that the water is above the wheel hight. 0.o

before now,the sunset was really bright orange pink and purple but is gone now. sad face.

Being a penguin, i love this weather and it makes me feel at home :) but i just found out that my power animal is the "red kangaroo" on the internet. its a really kool site but, check it out.

http://www.isthisyour.name/

http://www.isthisyour.name/joel_waddell.htm

Corkazn quote of the day: love someone as if they have and amputated leg,and love someone with an amputated leg as you would love someone normal.from-joel waddell

lol "normal"

anyway lets quickly analise this quote.

i think that if a parent has a daughter/son that loses a leg then the parent will pay closer attention,and care for and love that child more,as with kids with other kids. and adults with other adults. we shouldnt love some people more than others,but treat everyone as though they have an amputated leg,but not treat them abnormally like one might to someone with an amputated leg,but we sohuld try not to treat people with such a condition like we would treat normal people.

I made up this really kool saying too. u noe how peeps sometimes say: ur a step ahead of urself? or im a step ahead of you? well tonight my mum did something from habit and shes so used to doing it every night, and then she asked be to do it and when i saw that shed already done it,i told her that shes a step behind herself. lol

racist to WHITES????

If you have read my other posts you will know that on fridays i have a different chinese teacher that is bonkers-mrs chen.

Well last friday we all went to class,sat down and looked at the teacher, ready to start.this was only to have zac and i moved to the other side of the class,most of the class is azn,but zac and i were the only corkazns,which the others realised before i did that she was sepereatiting the races so she could focus more on the azns. wahhhh so racist???? cheyeh

corkazn quote of the day (beware this one kinda follows one of the ones in earlier posts.):heroes are made by the times.

2nd corkazn quote of the day.

corkazn quote of the day: DONT SPAM TEXT RAY!!!!!!

Spam txting.

lol today i sent 54 messages to john woo saying dont spam text all in a row using a cool feature on my fone.

Then i sent 183 of the messages to jeff li

then i thouhgt id have a go at cheni and sent hime 44.

little did i know,that with his phone he can press a single button he could send it 10 times to me he sent "u.r.gonna.die" and patrick helped him out saying "ray says hi"

by the end i had 187 messages.

Mental note-dont spam text raymond again for fear of my phone short circuting.

but i guess this is the life of someone on a virgin mobile plan.

we get free texts to anyone else on virgin,and i guess we may as well take spam txting with the good part of it. : )

corkazn quote of the day : go on virgin to be able to text everyone for free,not to spam text people.

Unlucky az 'n azn 2 (beta)

*sigh*

Yesterday was most probably one of the unluckyest days of my life.:(

First a bird pooed on me,and i had to spend the rest of the day in my pe uniform,i also had a sore lip,so i couldnt play trumpet in my orchestra that day, and all my english homework that was due the next day got deleted by the computer!!!!!!;(

But any way,its another hi from me,the local gui lou.(well someone has to be different!!!!)

These days i am a raymondist.like a buddist,but i follow raymond.

I follow him everywhere,i follow his wise sayings and ask him questions.

(though mostly about technology!!!!)

One thing i will never do is set myself on fire in his honour like buddist monks.

Well if you dont know ray,(or Cheni,or chhhheeeeeeeennnnnnniiiiiiiii!!!!!!!) he is a very dedicated christian who i admire(not gayly,i only love him in a freindly,christian type of way) is now a leader of a cult he didnt start and doesnt want to be a part of .lol

well id better go!!!!!

Corkazn quote of the day: its ok to be different.But not a hypocrite.

If you want this to make sense,read my other quotes.

so bibi

btw im just gonna do a bit of advertising here!!!!

check out my blog at www.thecorkaznlife.blogspot.com

Unlucky az 'n azn

Mondays and weekends.

MONDAYS!!!!!!

Who here hates mondays??????(even thouhg i ONLY have 4 followers.)

ARHGGGG!!!!

well today is a monday i guess but it's a public holiday so its all ok. :p

But when its at sholl and you wake up and its monday morning.What the first thouhgt that pops into your head? (well for john it would be "BREAKFAST!!!" but otherwise...:p)jks john dw

well for me its "SCHOOL!!!!!!" argh,but then after the first period its not that bad anymore so i shouldnt have worried anyway. lol

but seriously,i think we would all be better off WITHOUT weekends coz then we wouldnt have mondays would we????? well its actually tomorrow i'm dreading coz its tuesday-first day of the school week. cheyeh.At least its my birthday next saturday!!!!!

I wanna know,did anyone actually turn up to scholl today.That would be HILARIOUS>

Ray was probably looking forward to it so much and waited the whole weekend for school only to find out he had to wait another day!!!!!i can imagine him going. Aye'ya Cheyeh!!!!!

Wait now Sunray(bff)'s telling me we need longer weekends not NO weekends maybe shes right.

Anyway heads up for the Corkazn Quote of the day!!!!

Corkazn Quote of the day: The only way to excel at sport is for someone to fail.-Joel Waddell

Now,lets analise this quote by my favourite philosopher- me.

Well i guess if someone hits you a catch in a game of cricket,they fail. But also if you try to catch the ball and miss and it bounces out of your hands in another direction,then you fail,but then you heroicly dive and catch it again,and everyone celebrates. If you had have caught it in the first place though, then no one would have been so excited.

Till Next time-

PenGuIn

REad it and stop the chain mail

ok anyone with sense doesn’t believe in the stupid chainmails, so when you get one DELETE it right away and send it to noone. tell the person who sent it to stuff off.Do not delete this chainmail as it tells peeps to delete it

ok that was a copy and paste of the original e-mail,much shorter than my other post.lol

Deo or B.O?

Well, i have sadly come to the conclusion that i have not yet come to a conclusion. :(

Since its MAINLY the girls that complian,i will ask them- Deo or B.O

I notice that you complain about both of them.

OHHHHHH i hate the sell of boys B.O so we wear Deo.

Then you tell us that Deo stinks and doesnt smell nice....wat da heck!!!!!!!

I want answers to the very confusing question that all guys face. Ill try and answer it for everyone.

DEO OR B.O.

u girls always go on about how we stink of body odour and then we wear deodourant and u say eww I hate the smell of lynx? which do you prefer??????

WAHHHHH!!!!!!

Corkazn Quote of the day: Don't be fat-Be Jeff.

Succesfully the most "ands" in a sentence ever!!!!!!!

This sentence contains the most "and"s next to each other possibly and legally allowed in one sentance.

A man and his friend were walking along the road one day when they walked past a sign that said:

|NO CARTS AND HORSES PAST THIS POINT ->|

The man turned to his friend and said

here it is......

"The difference between 'CARTS' and 'AND' and 'AND' and 'HORSES' is different."

I don't know about you but thats pretty good!!!!!!
5 "And"'s in a row-and legally!!!!

Corkazn Quote of the day: Failure is a blessing in disguise.

*sigh*

I think that maybe this is a waste of time since no-one is following my blog or writing in my cbox:-(
Oh well Ill keep going anyway.:)

COME ON FOLLOW IT(you know you want to.)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I keep swinging on my chair in S+E (not on purpose -as a habit) and the S+E Teacher (mrs little) Made me stand up while i was using the macbooks to teach me a lesson "don't swil on the chairs lol XD lol

Small Problems that take up time.

Yes, we hardly notice them,but the are there.

Over the past few weeks i have decided that its not the big things that waste our, time,its the samll ones.

Don't you hate it when you can't find the remote???? it only takes about 4 minutes to find it,but none the less,you have to find the remote lots of times,by the time you die,it finding the remote will have taken up a whole days worth of your life 0.0

And it's the same with the phone,if you ahve a home phone thats wireless,how long do you spend trying to find it.I find its always in my mums room :p.

Off the subject a bit, Don't you hate it when you get interuupted in the climax of a good book.I mean,come on,its bad enough when its a stingy book,and youve just started. I get it all the time,so it's not just you.IT IS SOOOO ANOYING!!!!!

Any way I'm sitting here in s+e as bored as anything.With ben sitting next to me.Ben's blog is www.theemolife042.blogspot.com check it out it's awesome and really funny!!!!!!!!!!

Last Wednesday i went to Percy Jackson and the Lightning thief for Jasmines birthday,it wasn't her real party,but it was still kewl,me ben and a few other friends rocked up to watch it. It was a great movie but still not as good as the book. Ben keeps going on about how he got the best seat in the cinema- next to a girl he likes call Ciara.
you should have seen how suspicious looking he was when he pretended there was nowhere else to sit... :p

Corkazn quote of the day: You live a life,do things interesting ,don't just sit around watching your life go by. Get out there and do something dangerous.

Cya Next time
PENGUIN!!!!!

Corkazn Quote of the day: We should get jerseys,coz we make a good team.But yours would look better than mine,coz your out of my league.-The best band in the world!!!!!(Relient K!!!!!!)

9 Things I Hate About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7 . When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Chinese lessons are SOOOOOoooOOOOOO Funny.lolzor

we have a different chinese teacher on fridays called Mrs Chen and she is hilarious (without meaning to be):

ok a few weeks ago someone threw a piece of paper towards the front of the class and the teacher went BESERK!!!!!!!!!!!! it was so funny.she kept going around the class saying was it you??? in chinese and we all said no,so she did it another 3 times around the class and she wsa like.i will noty get you in trouble because its then first time.lol
at the end it turned out to Be JULIA!!!!!! ????????thx julia,u helped us waste 30 minutes of class time.Seriously the teacher wouldnt shut up about it.IT A FREAKING PIECE OF PAPER!!!!!

In the most recent leson she made us listen to a chinese song and everyone was all like"ok thats fair" and she put it on and there were a few giggles wehen we realised that the song started off with this tryhard fantasy-space sound effects thingo. dido doo dooo doooo doooooo dooo doo dooo doo do dix18 with this random marching band snare drum beat in the background.i must say,if anything.they contrasted alot.and the sound thing that went dooo osunded lame.Now that was the start.all of a sudden this 4 year old with a pretty good pitched voice started singing and it sounded like playshool sung by a kid,and it was in chinese.lol
i wish you could hear it!!!!!!!!!! then we were all falling off our chairs splitting out sides with laughter and the teachers standing there like "wats so funny?"

This teacher also randomly starts speaking in chinese and then corrects her self and speaks it in VERY bad english which i cant understand.And apparently she used to be a translator and went to a famous melbourne university??? she also gets us to read the english in outr textbook coz she cant understand/read it very well.

Corkazn Quote of the day-If i have 9 hours to cut down a tree,i will spend seven of them sharpening my axe. Abraham lincoln

If you are going to do something,be prepared,and go forth with courage.Things may be hard in life, But just do it.

Just do it -Nike

DA AWESOMe TrANslATioN

Hi I guess I should do the translation of the chinese blog now.lol here it is.

Hi,This is Probably the coolest blog ever!!!! This blog is unique because this blog is about The life of a Caucasian.lol. Now that I’m writing in chinese,it is difficult to know what to say because what I say here does not make sense to my fellow Caucasians,apart from Kevin rudd.:-( I hate him…
Anyway,I want to save all the good things for when everyone can read it.
My last blog was written in s+e class,and ben mctigue was sitting next to me.Boy would he laugh if he saw this blog.He would think I am a ninja writing in code.Ive got to go now.Bye the way-if someone wants to see the translation of this go to google translate.I repeat in English.

S+E is SOOOOOO boring

Hey guys its Joel again.
Don't you just hate S+E classes. I'm in one now and i used a filter bypass site www.knowmymath.com
It's a lifesaver. Now i can go on whatever internet site i want.even blogger.
So here i am sitting in s+e listening to something about use books for research not the internet.

Mwuhahahahahah i have taken over joels computer...

lol soz that was ben sitting next to me,hes bored and making blogs too.
bahahahaha

Anyway The corkazn quote of the day is-

Corkazn quote of the day: If you are showing your friend your faourite movie and they don't like it, that can be really annoying,but try to calm down,put on their favourite movie and dis it heaps.

Don't you hate it when your friend dooesnt like a movie you like????
The other day one of my friends said that they had never seen a Star Wars Movie. He was actually my dad's friend so he was a teen when Star Wars was a big hit.

So anyway.I thought i need to fix that. so we arranged a date when my dad's friend would come over and watch Star Wars with us. But when he came over, we were planning on watching the best one -Episode 3,But mum insisted that since My younger brother was still awake(hes not alowed to watch episode 3) that we watch a different one.So then we suggested the second best one,Episode 2.But mum said we should start with the 4th one because that was the first one to be made. Episode 4 happens to be the daggiest one.:-( So he watched it and said it was quite basic. I was Insulted Much...
Has anyone else had any expieriences like this???????

Oh no...The teachers coming!!!!
:/
bye!!!!
signing off-Penguin

Corkazn quote of the day.

Oopseyyss i forgot the corkazn quote of the day in my chinese post

here it is!!!!!!

corkazn quote of the day: The way to make people like you is to make yourself exactly like them.

quite fitting dont you think???considering my last post

NI HAO I WILL TRY AND BE LIKE MY FREINDS!!!!! TELL me if i made a MISTAKE??!??!?!?!?!?!

您好这可能是我有史以来最酷的博客你不认为这是一种独特的，因为我的博客是对白人的生活...大声笑。现在我用中文写很难知道该说什么，因为我在这里讲的没有道理我的同胞白人以外的陆克文:-(，我想保存所有好的东西，我会把最后来在我的博客。我最后的博客写在S + E类。本坐在我旁边。大声。男孩笑，他会喜欢这个项目。他会想是这样的，我忍者写在代码。我还是走了...顺便说一句，如果有人想这个只要到谷歌翻译的翻译。我再说一遍英文。ifanyonewantsatraslationofthisgotogoogletranslate ...

FW-Chainmail

Corkazn quote of the day- Being corkazn is not being able to make up your mind.

My parents cant decide whether they want me to do homework instrument practice or chores Wat the heck.

If this title isn't bad enough,read below it!!!!

to:(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,(censored)@hotmail.com,

Subject:FW:chainmail

stupid chainmail,it is clogging up eveeryones e-mail account by the second.the purpose of this e-mail is that i want everyone from now on to delete every chain mail they ever recieved. never forward a chainmail no matter what they say.i dont care if ur gonna fall down a sewer just SToP THE CHAINMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so delete all ur chainmail right now. it will take over the whole system.people now can't even see when they get a real e-mail. and it could be important too.what if your grandpa died,and you didn't know until 3 years later u delete ur chainmail and see that there is the e-mail that sed ur grandpa died 3 years ago :-(

and you will be dead too if you dont forward this to all of your contacts and delete all your contacts.BEWARE THE EVIL DOLL!!!HE WILL GET U AT 12 OCLOCK!!!!!!

From Joel

Selfishness?

ooohhhhh,i can breath again.it turne dout that the phantom of the opener was just raymond scaring me coz i (c)'d his blog.(mental note,dont do that again!!!!)

So Anywayz i was thinking that being a blogger is very selfinsh coz u always blog about ur life.do i care?meh. hopefully,this will be an interesting blog...

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPENER!!!

Hi i guess this is my first entry.and i will NOT say XD after that coz that would be AZN!!!As you can probably tell this is a sort of response to my friend Raymond chens blog, and just so evry1 knows,i can actually spell Caucasian,i just spelt it wrong for the purpose of the blog. Yeh so....ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-its the phantom of the opener-i've heard about him!!!-ever since people at rossy started blogging hes been attacking the bloggers!!!!aarrrggghhhhh..sorry can't type any more,ive gotta call the police,hes atrngling me with a lasso!!!!!!!arrrghhhh